Re the hair: She wears it too loose, too conventional. Her tresses need oomph, a dollop of lift at the roots and some flair along the sides. Maybe even a change of color: auburn would suit her just fine. It would certainly bring out the steeliness of her temperament.

I'm referring to Martha Stewart, of course. Stewart's hair may not appear to be of vital importance in this time and age, but it is, I believe, another shot in the cultural wars. It aims at the very heart of what we as a free people (read: consumer society) deserve on TV.

NBC has announced that it will not order a second round of episodes of The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. A network spokesman stressed that the show, which has struggled in the ratings since its Sept. 21 debut, had been scheduled to run for only one cycle. Many, however, don't believe the company line.

Which brings me back to the hair. Donald Trump's The Apprentice has succeeded where Stewart's spinoff has failed, and it all goes back to the hair. I know highly intelligent viewers who tune into Trump because of his coif. It's so horrible that it's fashionable.

The Diva of Domesticity must show the country, once and for all, that passionate, hair-all-over-the-place sex is the silver bullet of household bliss. And, of course, TV ratings.

I've arrived at this conclusion after reading the latest report on TV programming and extrapolating those figures right into Stewart's fade-out. According to a study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, the overwhelming majority of TV shows, 70 percent, include some sexual content, with an average of five sex scenes per hour -- double the number since 1998.

The Kaiser figures, though, do tell me something about us, the audience: We have sex-sex-sex on our minds. Why else would there be so much on TV? Why else would there be depictions of oral sex on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and sexual intercourse on The O.C.? TV execs claim they give us what we want.

Some might argue that a genteel Stewart should not bow to the prurient masses. Some would suggest she ignore any and every call from the wild -- in hair, sex or otherwise. I disagree. This is her chance to bring a touch of class to our national obsession. Think holiday confetti strewn among the flannel sheets. Basket weaving in the nude. Creme brulee with a menage a trois.

This is cache, read story here